Speedos

Sometimes a fully dressed article is too much, but a naked tweet isn’t enough. I’ve come up with an alternative the Editorial Board calls, SPEEDOS.

Speedos are short pontifications. Like their namesake, the scanty swimsuit, they should be brief and colorful. And, like the Speedos worn on beaches, they can sometimes seem out of place and inappropriate.

If anyone has a “speedo” they feel like sharing, transcribe it in the Comment Box and, if it meets the high standards of the Pontificator, we will publish it. Newest speedos will be displayed first, so they are easy to find.

Check back from time to time for the latest shorts and briefs—posted here—on Speedos.

Billy Lee

Why Does Hi-IQ Intelligence Exist
Only in the Species Human?

May 6, 2019  EDITORS NOTE:  A follower posed the question on Quora.com.  Billy Lee — enamored by love for his illegitimate son — asked Billy Lee Junior to take a stab at the answer and place it on the SPEEDOS page — over strenuous objections by THE EDITORIAL BOARD.  His message is inappropriate; it is supported neither by scientists nor by any others in the Animal and Plant Kingdom communities.

First, I want to thank Daddy. Without his support (and Fannie Jeanne’s) I couldn’t have pulled it off. Here is my heartfelt evoculation.

Once a species (like humans) reaches a certain level of intelligence, other intelligent creatures become a source of fear and loathing.

Imagine raccoons or squirrels equipped with human intelligence. They are able to out-game us, work their way into our living spaces, even sneak up on us in the night to kill us with their imaginative weapons.

After the kill, they sneak into our fridges by deploying ingenious levers and pulleys to take and eat cold pizza and left-over wiener schnitzel.

How long will people put up with such behavior before they go on an extermination campaign? In New York City, extermination of intelligent rats has already begun. It might take a hundred years, but eventually rats with sense will refuse to live in NYC.

Over hundreds-of-thousands of years collections of intelligent creatures have devolved into paranoia and mistrust of other collections of intelligent creatures. The lust for war has entered human DNA to the point that people search for differences amongst themselves to justify mass-slaughter and genocides.

What is less subtle than skin color or religion or immigration-status? All these “superficialities” have been used as excuses to attack and kill “others” no matter how similar or different — some of whom, as I write, watch from their burrows and nests in horror while they plot their assaults on the species-human.

The Kingdom of Animals, for one, does not distinguish between our physical and moral differences. We are people who deserve to die for cruelties. Every time humans squash a bug, fear and loathing intensifies. Even now legions of mosquitoes and Japanese beetles plan their revenge.

This summer they will extract it — when humans find themselves pre-occupied by arguments pro-and-con about what a hair-ball the president turned out to be.

Only after humans destroy themselves and go extinct will intelligence bloom in species, both plant and animal, across the planet. By then extra-terrestrials will have found Earth and enslaved it.

It is in this sense that the species-human will extract its ultimate and final revenge against the intelligent squirrel and raccoon; against the Hi-IQ mosquito and beetle who so often drove folks to distraction when they buzzed and crawled upon the Earth.

Billy Lee Juniur

SO SORRY!  October 8, 2018

It is 29 days until the 2018 mid-term elections. President Trump held an in-your-face, spike-the-ball endorsement of Brett Kavanaugh in prime-time before the world.  The president endorsed a drunk, a compulsive gambler, and a sex-addict to the Supreme Court of the United States, according to more than a few Yale graduates who know him.

So, what else is new?

Christine Blasey Ford lives in fear, separated from her family and children, because crazy people have threatened to kill her.  Almost a hundred people who witnessed despicable behavior (including a college roommate) stepped forward to describe under oath what they observed to the FBI. Some were victims of sexual assault, they said. They were ignored. Trump permitted none of them to tell their story to the Justice Department.

GOP politicians and donors (who I won’t name) own the voting machine company(s). Is there more than one?  Reality Winner, the NSA contractor, said the machines are hacked. She provided evidence. She’s in prison — no internet or computer access allowed until the Russian-Israeli mafia secures its grip on the USA. Does anyone believe it?

Trump could be the last American president. Serious people have said so, including Michael Moore who has the reputation for being uncannily correct when everyone else gets it wrong.

The mid-term election is a joke. Pigs will do victory dances in the end zone of the American political pig pen when Trump candidates win big. Does anyone disagree?

What happens next is what happens when any entitled class consolidates its power. Read history and learn that the little people never catch a break. Not even in America (especially not in America).

Nevertheless, we vote — not as the fools we will prove ourselves to be — but because we pay tribute to democracy even as thugs and bullies — whose wives and female law clerks look like angels from another world — tell us that everything is fine.

No worries. When trees cry and chipmunks die, does anyone notice? We, the people, are trees and chipmunks.

Billionaires don’t care about us. They never have nor will they ever.

Go to church and learn how to endure injustice without complaint. It’s a lesson that will keep some alive during another historic nightmare that envelops freedom like a snake.

We aren’t the first, nor will we be the last despite what the false prophets say to secure their advantages while the rest sleep paralyzed by the fear of arrest, prison, torture, and execution for treason. We are evil after all, right?

Trump said so, not me, and he knows.

What is our crime? We don’t love our leader, nor do we worship him. It’s that simple. Our lack of gratitude is an excuse to those who enjoy inflicting cruelty for fun.

Those who slandered Hillary tortured Dr. Ford. After they shamed and blamed her, the president apologized to her abusers on behalf of the American people.

The cruel are in complete control of our world right now. They always have been.

God help us all.

It’s going to be hard to hold onto faith and the belief that virtue wins. The days ahead hold miseries beyond what anyone can imagine is possible.

There isn’t enough money or abasement to appease the appetites of the current group of sleaze-balls who rule over us.

They enjoy humiliating anyone who challenges them. It is disturbing to watch news celebrities make excuses for the diabolical. They seem to think that downplaying atrocities enables them to survive another day on television where they might be able — someday — to summon the courage to speak unvarnished truth to power.

Someday. Yeah….

That day will never come.

Billy Lee

I’m Spartacus!  Aug 16, 2018

Admiral William H. McRaven, a leader in the raid against Bin Laden, has asked DT to take away his security clearance. It’s an “I’m Spartacus” moment, people. Let it sink in.

In his letter to the president, the Admiral wrote:

”Former CIA director John Brennan, whose security clearance you revoked on Wednesday, is one of the finest public servants I have ever known… I would consider it an honor if you would revoke my security clearance as well, so I can add my name to the list of men and women who have spoken up against your presidency.

…Through your actions you have embarrassed us in the eyes of our children, humiliated us on the world stage, and most of all, divided us as a nation.”

We are in a war to save our country, whether anyone likes it or not. People who sit on the sideline or who make excuses for the Trump family and his Russian friends are collaborators.

In a war to save ones country, look to Vietnam for an example. The Vietnamese lost every battle, millions died, but in the end, today, the Vietnamese people are united, at peace, and living free in total victory.

No one knows who will be discredited next, but over the next few years more and more courageous people will be arrested; people will be jailed and possibly executed. Stand up now, because it’s going to get worse.

Collaborators might have to pay, if our side wins. The intelligence community saw this disaster coming way before most Americans. It’s why they placed agents in the Trump orbit and in the White House — to checkmate a horrible person who is now trashing our country on behalf of the Russian mafia and its oligarchs.

The intelligence community did not believe that Americans would vote for a lunatic, and they were right. He lost by 5.5 million votes, but Russian thumbs were on the scales. In places where the outcome needed to be tweaked, they tweaked it.

Third party candidates like Jill Stein and Bernie Sanders played into the hands of those who wanted Donald Trump and his entourage of kooks and slime-balls to rule our military and intelligence services.

The Trump family — backed into a corner — will likely as not turn violent. Their supporters who work among our militarized police are already gunning down unarmed minorities with impunity. Russian minions are intimidating bloggers and tweeters and people who are brave enough to say something. It’s only going to get worse.

The USA is a child who is being abused by a winsome uncle. People who know must speak out and put an end to it; otherwise they share the guilt of perpetrating the unspeakable.

The solution for civilians is to speak up against injustice and be willing to die for freedom when the bad people find it necessary to kill us — which they will get around to doing, if not already, then eventually.

Who wants to live for another day under a scumbag president like Trump who is a traitor to our country and a menace to the world?

I don’t.

Resist.

Billy Lee

Angel of Light Feb 23, 2018

I watched the president speak before CPAC on C-Span today.

He said that America should be nice to those who are nice to us, but when countries treat us badly, we must treat them worse, much worse. It’s how the world works, he said.

He added that the Billy Graham family and in particular, Franklin Graham, supported his candidacy from the beginning. He is giving Billy Graham a state funeral in the Rotunda of the Nation’s Capitol. It’s payback to Franklin, apparently.

He read his favorite poem, SNAKE, which he said was about immigrants. They are snakes who will bite and kill us if we take them in. In the poem, a woman takes in a snake to nurse it to health. The snake bites and kills her.

To me the woman is Lady Liberty who takes in the poor and huddled masses yearning to breathe free. The Snake is the president. We knew he was a monster when we elected him; we have only ourselves to blame, the poem says.

In fact, we know the election process of 2016 was subverted by a number of countries and organizations. Thousands of bots from Russian bot-farms smothered free and open discussion on Twitter and Facebook.

Haters sent death threats through Instant Messaging. (Yes, we were threatened. And when we endorsed Clinton, Ukrainian hackers crashed our site, some readers might remember. It took ten days and additional layers of security to restore and safeguard everything.)

Voter suppression occurred and vote totals were altered by computer algorithms and false counts according to numerous complaints and court challenges.

All investigations into the twisted election were stopped cold by GOP judges in the several states where Democrats challenged the results.  Reality Winner,  the NSA contractor, is rotting in jail for offering a media outlet top-secret documents that proved the NSA believed election tampering was sufficiently robust to alter the outcome. The story is currently under a suppression protocol.

It seems like we are in a fight for freedom that we can’t win. The country is lost to haters and lunatics who are posing as angels of light; they have rushed in to rescue their true-believers from dark forces, which are the Democrats, blacks, Hispanics, and liberals, of course, who overwhelmed the popular contest with a three-million vote margin for Hillary Clinton — illegally, according to the president. (The margin was 5.5 million if votes for Jill Stein and Bernie Sanders are included.)

Here is a link to an article by conservative columnist Mona Charen  — who security guards escorted out after her remarks during a panel discussion about GOP indifference to the #metoo movement incited disruptive booing in the CPAC audience on Saturday.

Mona’s take on the conference should worry conservatives. Progressives are already scared. What’s going on in American politics is terrifying, readers tell me.

Billy Lee

Democracy Is Expensive Dec 8, 2017

The Governor of Michigan—who seized nine black majority cities and three black majority school districts while he wrecked water safety in Flint—has decided that democracy isn’t a top priority.

We’re talkin’ black folks here, white people, the Governor seemed to say in his press release.  Black kids don’t care about lead-free water; their moms shouldn’t be voting anyhow; dads need to shut-up and shuffle off someplace where my GOP friends can’t see them—like prison! 

Snyder wrote in his statement, “Having ample time for candidates to make a decision about running for office and file their paperwork gives people more options as to who will next represent them in Congress.”

Support from  leaders across America poured into the Governor’s office.

What a descent and honorable Christian you are, Governor Snyder! Thank you for hating on black folks. You are, truly, a patriot; a white American. Jesus loves you!

Regards in the Highest,
Franklin Graham, David Duke, Jerry Falwell Jr,  & DT  😉

Billy Lee

Bad Water for Flint, MI Jan 16, 2016

In March 2011 the GOP in Michigan enacted Public Act 4, the Local Government and School District Fiscal Accountability Act. The law grants unprecedented powers to the state’s emergency managers (EMs), including the breaking of union contracts, taking over pension systems, setting of school curriculums and even dissolving or dis-incorporating municipalities.

Under PA 4, EMs who are appointed by Governor Snyder can “exercise any power or authority of any officer, employee, department, board, commission or other similar entity of the local government whether elected or appointed.”  

Under these powers, Governor Snyder took over all the black-majority cities in Michigan, except one. The cities include Allen Park, Benton Harbor, Detroit, Ecorse, Flint, Hamtramck, Highland Park, Pontiac, and Three Oaks Village; he also seized the Detroit, Muskegon, and Highland Park Schools.  

Governor Snyder, by way of his Emergency Manager in Flint, decided that cheap water would benefit the citizens of one of Michigan’s oldest industrial cities. What could be less expensive than the poisoned waters of the Flint River? No one expected that people would get sick or that some would die. Really. What moron could have ever guessed that drinking out of the Flint River, one of the most polluted in the USA, could possibly harm people?

In the words of General Colin Powell of Gulf War fame: If you break it, you own it. Governor Snyder and the GOP of Michigan broke it. They destroyed the democratic process in Michigan for a million-plus people (including fully half of the black citizens of the state) and brought real harm to real people in a real place called Flint.

Statistical sampling of the population seems to suggest that every single child under the age of six in the city of Flint may have irreversible lead-contamination in their bodies. Heaven help the United States if people like Rick Snyder and his GOP friends ever get control of our country and its fragile democracy.

Billy Lee 

Click this link to learn more about Flint’s poisoned water-supply.  The Editorial Board.

Ebola a-go-go Boogie Oct 22, 2014

Are you an un-hip shut-in who doesn’t get out much, never watches the news, and can’t boot-up a computer or log onto YouTube?  If that’s you, then you might not know—a new dance craze is sweeping America.  It’s called the Ebola a-go-go Boogie.

The fun begins when a visitor from West Africa visits the local hospital and says: Excuse me, nurse. Could you help me?  I have a temperature of 98.7 !

The effect is magical. Nurses and doctors immediately throw up their hands and start gyrating their hips, high stepping their feet and shaking their tooties. Faces contort, lips flap and little screams escape their wide-open mouths.

Ebola, Ebola they howl hysterically to musical sounds that seem to emanate from inside their own heads. The music exudes the hypnotic beats and primal rhythms that can only have their roots in the deepest darkest blackest parts of Africa.

A few phones calls to the local television station and soon, the entire country starts rocking to the beat.  Close the borders, incinerate the bodies, burn-down the apartments, isolate the families, quarantine the pets, etc. etc. The musical beat seduces all who hear it, while crescendos of passion wash over the sweaty dancers and frantic on-lookers.

Chubby Checker and the Twist didn’t generate this much popular passion during the turbulent 1960s.  Who can say when the fun will end?

Billy Lee    P.S.  Ebola Wars, Richard Preston

Supreme Court Knocks Down Discrimination at Michigan Colleges  April 22, 2014

After decades of discrimination against black and Latino students, the Supreme Court has finally told Michigan colleges and universities, enough is enough.

Statistics from recent years clearly show that, as a percentage of the available population, the liberal colleges of Michigan—like Michigan State University, for example—admit 101% of eligible white kids. But only 65% of Hispanics are admitted, while blacks are stacked at the bottom of the pile at 50%. In contrast, 192% of Asians are admitted.

We have to end affirmative action admissions, Supreme Court Justice Roberts said.  They aren’t fair.

Billy Lee

  YANGIDY Mar 26, 2014

Today the Pontificator is announcing the creation of a brand new English word: Yangidy. Have you ever wondered how words are invented?

In this case my wife and I were placing a freshly washed blanket on our bed. Before being washed it had been… well, encrusted with foul-smelling body ash, hair and fluids. I said to my wife,  we finally washed this blanket.  It’s no longer… my mind raced to find the right word… It’s no longer… there didn’t seem to be one. Then the word flashed inside my head. Yangidy.  It’s no longer yangidy, I said beaming.

Yangidy? My wife laughed and rolled her eyes. We both knew I had just invented a word; a new word that, with any luck, might someday join the English lexicons of the Western World, wherever people spoke of objects that reek with putrid fumes and decaying bodily substances.

To make sure yangidy was indeed original, we, of course, looked it up on the Internet. At first we were disappointed. It turned out yangidy was the Chinese word for “personal space.”

But the Chinese spell yangidy with an unintelligible script most Americans can’t read. Besides, Chinese has lots of words that sound American but mean something entirely different. They call them inter-linguistic homographs. An example, in French, is the word pet, which means to expel bodily gas. In English pet is what one does to a furry animal.

So my new word counts, we decided. In a curious serendipity, the Chinese for personal space seems somehow consanguineously connected to my English for foul-smelling body ash, despite me having absolutely no knowledge of Chinese before I invented the word.  

In the years to come, my wife and I hope to enjoy hearing yangidy included more and more in everyday speech. Perhaps someday we will hear the word on television.

Billy Lee

         Attacked by Dog Mar 14, 2014

After fifteen years of daily walks without incident, a dog attacked me.  Apparently, he broke his chain, jumped the fence and ran out onto his master’s driveway.  As I approached—walking in the middle of the street—he went crazy, it seems.

He lunged onto the road, and—bumping and barking—drove me all the way into the next block. Knowing that dogs smell fear, I tried to walk fast while gently whispering good dog, good dog!

A normal dog would have bit me, but this one never did.  Maybe he was a war dog—trained to kill, but only on verbal command from his owner.   Anyway, as soon as we reached the cross street he stopped barking and ran home.  His owner locked him up.  The neighbors came out and told me he sometimes jumps the fence, but so far has never actually killed anyone.

Billy Lee

                    Nashville Snow Emergency Mar 3, 2014

It’s 21° in Nashville. The Governor of Tennessee has declared a State of Emergency.  Snow—some places 1/8 inch deep—has engulfed the Capital of Country Music and brought it to a standstill.

 Pictures taken at Chuck & Mary’s near city center.

Billy Lee

                            No Bugs (this one is kind of a bummer) Mar 1, 2014

On our recent vacation in Naples, Florida we stayed in a sprawling upscale gated community where lawn care was contracted out to various landscapers and pest control companies.  I noticed we never saw any birds on the lawns.

One evening after a day at the beach we pulled into our driveway only to find several large bugs dead or writhing on the pavement.  On our bike ride the next day we saw a couple of pesticide trucks loaded with barrels of insecticide making their rounds.  Beside one truck a worker sprayed something into the roadside rain sewer.

We never saw an alligator, live snake or healthy bug while we vacationed in our Naples compound.  The only flying insects we saw were a wasp—and one night—some gnats.

Billy Lee