ON AGING

Aging is taking a toll on me. I had warning. Mom and Dad lost everything as they aged. It wasn’t what they expected.


Billy Lee celebrates another year closer to death.

They imagined they’d lose some friends, have health issues, lose some mobility. They didn’t expect to lose their entire family, all their friends and all their power. They lost their beauty, their charisma, their common sense and, finally, their minds.


Mom & Dad open a present
Dad’s 85th birthday. Within eight years both he and mom died.

One thing my dad tried was to keep his losses to himself. On some level he wanted to spare his children the fear of knowing; on another level he may have believed a positive attitude would lift up those people around him still left. But in the end futility seized him. He could no longer play golf or read or drive a car. He got depressed and took pills to keep going. Aphasia robbed his ability to speak.

My mom was devoted to my dad. Whatever he said or didn’t say was fine with her. She developed a brain disease that took her memories, short term and long, but she remembered Dad to the end. She never stopped asking where he went and when was he coming home.


grandpa dad clack two days before he died
Dad, 48 hours before he died.

My journey down this tunnel to hell is just beginning. My kids want me to go quietly without complaint — no whimpering, no crying, no embarrassing emotional displays or theatrical grand-standing, like I do in my blog — whatever.

I’m not built that way.

Billy Lee

Click here for Final Thoughts before life is gone for good…

NUCLEAR POWER AND ME

CBS 60 Minutes drone-video of the Chernobyl Zone of Alienation, a safe area. 



Here is an excerpt from a 1975 resume about my experience in the nuclear power industry:

Engineering Technician at Ingersoll-Rand Company. Designed and serviced pumps and condensers for nuclear power plants; assisted engineers on service calls; toured and worked inside nuclear power plants; trained in construction and operation of nuclear power plants.

I didn’t last long at Ingersoll-Rand before they fired me for incompetence. But during the six months before my meltdown they sent me inside nuclear power plants to learn how to operate and maintain the pumps and condensers used to move and cool liquids inside the plants. Under the supervision of licensed nuclear engineers I learned how to inspect and fix pumps — some of them the size of little houses.

The plant executives had the habit of inviting visiting engineers and technicians to lunch, where their supervisors would present short overviews of plant operation, describe safety features, and speculate about the future of nuclear energy in the United States.

They promised that the government planned to approve the construction of a thousand nuclear power plants by the year 2000. The facilities would be “fail-safe” due to their many redundant safety features. As it turned out, their enthusiasm was misguided.

As of today, 438 nuclear power plants have been built in the entire world. The United States operates 61. The safety record is abysmal.


The Three Mile Island Nuclear Power Plant in Pennsylvania suffered a partial meltdown in March 1979 —  twelve days after Michael Douglas released the movie China Syndrome. The meltdown catapulted the movie to international success as people struggled to understand what happened. After the accident, cancer rates within ten miles of the plant increased 64% according to a  team of Columbia University researchers.

Currently, there are 30 operating nuclear reactors at 12 generating stations on 11 sites in the Great Lakes basin. Almost all are located on the banks of our great fresh-water lakes. Radioactive waste-products are stored in cooling-ponds at each of these sites yards away from the purest fresh-water on planet Earth.

Highly radioactive, spent-fuel rods are collected and dry-stored at Chicago’s Lake Michigan Zion facility, which experts warned in 2015 pose risks not only to the Great Lakes but to the entire region. The lethal dry-storage facility and the contaminated ponds at power-plants located on the shores of the Great Lakes grow in size and radioactivity year after year after year.


Editors note: On 25 October 2016, Energy Solutions announced that the Zion plant is 88% shut down and that all of its high radiation fuel rods are now contained inside an on-site ISFSI (Independent Spent Fuel Storage Installation) where they will remain until someone figures out what to do with them. The entire facility is scheduled for closure by January 1, 2027 at a cost of 1 billion dollars.  


We are one earthquake away from catastrophic contamination of up to ten percent of the world’s freshwater supply.


Inside Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant
31 people died at the Russian Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant in April 1986. Today the number of deaths stands at nearly 100,000. The plant released 400 times the radioactive material of the bomb dropped by the USA on the Japanese city of Hiroshima. Authorities evacuated the city; it remains uninhabited. Click this link for a drone-video of the site.

Fukushima Nuclear Plant
Fukushima Nuclear Power Plant in Japan experienced catastrophic failure during the March 3, 2011 tsunami, which swept away nearly 20,000 people.  The accident irradiated over 300 workers and killed six. The site will never recover.  

Editor’s Note added 3-11-2021: 
The Japanese government announced this week that 3,775 people died during the past decade from health problems caused by what officials now admit was a “triple meltdown” at Fukushima. 41,000 remain forced to live outside their hometowns.

Several districts near the plant continue to be off-limits to everyone. The government hopes to decommission the power plant by 2051.

The ruined facility houses 900 tons of highly radioactive debris and 1.2 million tons of radioactive water that must be removed and isolated before the plant can be safely closed. The coronavirus pandemic slowed progress at the site, according to NHK News. 


Anyway, after the lectures — which were accompanied by short films and slide presentations — executives opened the sessions for questions from the audience. I was one of those nerds who believed they were serious so I did ask a lot of questions. (I was a pontificator even then).

I asked: What is the half-life of the radioactive waste produced in this plant?  Where is waste stored? How much of it will this plant produce over the next 30 years? What happens during an earthquake?  How are meltdowns prevented? What are the consequences of operator errors?  What happens when the plant gets old and comes to the end of its useful life?

It wasn’t long before my supervisor called me into his office and advised me to keep my questions to myself and do my job better. But it was not to be. I learned a life lesson: when the boss tells you to be quiet and just do your job — hold on to your hat. It’s too late. You will be fired as soon as the permissions and the paperwork are done.

Maybe I was incompetent. I don’t know. After being fired I went into counseling for depression. I re-entered MSU and studied mathematics and electrical engineering. I ended up designing machinery — mostly in the food and beverage industry — until I retired six years ago in 2008.

Everyone uses tear-spout coffee lids on foam coffee cups. Folks drink their coffee without removing the lid.  Yeah, I designed the first one and the tooling  to produce it; it was a team effort, of course. Everyone buys orange juice and milk cartons with tamper-proof safety caps. Yeah. I did those too. I share a patent, which proves it.  

What am I most proud of?  I didn’t design a damn thing on that Fukushima disaster, which is contaminating the Pacific Ocean and its fish stocks, perhaps to the end of time. 

Billy Lee


NOTE from the EDITORIAL BOARD:  In May 2019, HBO released its award nominated series on the Chernobyl disaster of April 25, 1986. The producers speculate that up to 93,000 Russian citizens died in the aftermath from radiation poisoning. The video below is a promo of the series.



 

SHOULD THIS BOOK BE FINISHED?

My book is called “Journal.”


Sanitorium, USSR
Sanatorium. Name and location unknown.

Writing Journal has inflicted upon me a certain pain and anguish of mind and soul. Yes, I wrote it — secretly, furtively — in the sanatorium pictured above. But I forewarn you. Journal is a work of fiction. It is not real. Why don’t you believe me?

Nothing happened except between the twisted wires of my tortured mind. I swear it.

Journal is unfinished. Indeed, it cannot be finished — not without your consent; not without your cooperation. Will you cooperate? Will you allow this book to bubble forth from the sewer of my polluted soul?

May I interview you in the privacy of my basement?

Be advised. I’m not normal. I endured twelve years in the psychiatric hospital pictured above. They used me like a lab rat then released me after the Soviet Union collapsed.

Any reminders of that fiendish hell — even those hiding inside the ephemeral anamnesis of a forgotten oil painting — inject fibrillations of fear into my drug-damaged heart.

The asylum is located somewhere inside the old Soviet Republic. I can’t say exactly where, because they never told me.

But they did do things to me. Unusual things.


starship troopers operation scene
Inside Russian Sanatorium. UPD unclassified photo.

Today I am free and live inside the United States under an identity created for me by the NSA’s Unusual Persons Division. I am grateful of course to the UPD for my new life. In fact, I couldn’t be happier.

HA!

You see, I am a survivor.

I’m alive!

Sigh… Burp…  Oh yes. I’m real.

Free.

Authentic.

Journal is fiction.

Yes, the events I suffered to describe never happened. 

You seem to be a trusting sort; young; innocent. May I confess? May I share a secret? Will you keep it and never tell? It means so much.

You can be the very first one to help me.  I need your love so bad. Surely, someone understands. 

Twelve years in the funny farm… 

Guess what?

I’m still insane!

Billy Lee