Inside the shadows of the lanai next door lurks a loquacious parrot. Bevy Mae and me can’t see him, but we know he’s in there, because he talks — a lot.
We want to meet him. But we are visitors on vacation, and it doesn’t seem quite right to walk up to the neighbor’s front door and announce, “Hi, we’re the neighbors from up north. Can we see your talking parrot?”
It seems a little forward, like something kids might do, right?
Every morning the parrot wakes us up with cries of “Lisa!” and “Chuck, Chuck!” When Chuck and Lisa don’t come running (and so far they haven’t) he can throw a bit of a hissy-fit and bang his cage like a tin can. Sometimes he hurls what sounds like obscenities.
I don’t want our neighbors — who I’ve met by the way; sweet folks from South America — to imagine that my wife and I don’t anything but adore their bird. We really do.
The parrot has an astounding repertoire of words and phrases that are nothing short of amazing. His Burt Lancaster accents and phraseology make me believe he may have been in the movies.
We will keep you posted on all the cute things he says and does.
4:30PM The talking parrot was well behaved this afternoon. He said the following:
Charlie! Ow! Come ‘ere!
Hush up!
Hey Dad!
Charlie! Wee ooh!
Charlie! Wee ooh!
Chuck! Chuck!
Tweet! Wee ooh!
(etc. etc.)
10:00PM Friday We didn’t hear the parrot today. Really miss him.
6:30 PM Sunday The Parrot is back! Here is a transcript:
Wee ooh! Wee ooh! Hello.
Ee yooh. Tweet. Woo. Charlie!
What!? Joe?
Hey. Hey. Get out here! [obscenity]
Hey! Hey girl. Hey. Hey. [obscenity]
Charlie? [farting sounds]
Hey girl [whistles]
Hey John!
Tweet. Tweet. Tweet.
Doll?
Hey dad! Hey dad! [squeak]
Whoo! Whoo! Chirp. [bangs cage]
Charlie. Charlie. Wee ooh.
Chirp. Chirp.
Hey! Help!
Whew!
(etc. etc.)
Billy Lee
The neighbor on the other side must not have been as fond of the Parrot and probably disposed of it.